Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
