just come out here and I will go home with you...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
