Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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