This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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