I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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