It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
