can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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