Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
