About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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