drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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