yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
