so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
