Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
