lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
