In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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