So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
