I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
