I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
