i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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