Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sober January is a disaster.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
