I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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