At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
