i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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