we're chasing vodka with high fives
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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