no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
These tits shall not be calmed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
