U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
