everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
