i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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