and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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