I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
