Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
