the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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