the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
