Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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