"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
