I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
