She's JV to your varsity
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
