My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
