the new term for farting is butt boxing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I will pee on everything he values.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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