it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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