The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
