Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
