Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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