Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
