Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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