Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
