i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
