you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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