I feel like abortions should bother me more
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
