Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
