I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
